I know this blog is dedicated to Justice, but I have thought about this and most of our time is too. Which is not fair to Synsyre. Hes 5. Hes the baby. My baby. The cutest kid you could ever meet, with a slight baby lisp that allows him to get away with anything. Hes also Justice’s biggest supporter and his best friend in the whole world.
Synsyre Love. That’s his name, and it is so fitting. Synsyre feels such empathy for Justice when his sugars are out of control, and everyday proclaims “I wish diabetes never even existed!” I am quite aware that while this comes mostly from a place of love and admiration and even sadness for his big brother it also comes from jealousy. He sees the extra time and effort put into Justices day, and I think sometimes it gets to him. He knows that we love them just the same, and he understands Justice needs extra attention or care sometimes but that doesn’t mean at 5 that he has to like it one bit.
So let me tell you a little bit about Synsyre. Born 4/8/05, an unexpected miracle (got pregnant on birth control, after a few months earlier I had miscarried). He was such an easy going baby, and the funniest toddler, always laughing, dancing, and singing. And he hasn’t changed a bit. His idol is Michael Jackson and knows EVERY song by heart and even moon walks. He loves food. Always has. He used to be sooo skinny and now hes a chunky guy (not overweight, we know the risks of T2). He calls Justice “Shooosy” which is actually Juicy, the nickname Justice has had since birth.
When I am down, tired, feeling sick he really knows how to just make it all better. He writes songs for me, rubs my feet, and tells me that hes gonna steal me from dad to be HIS wife. Such a ladies man.
Still the one thing that stands out in my head is the day he said “I wish I HAD diabetes!” , I knew this came from me coddling Justice during a bad high. Still my heart broke in so many pieces, each for a different reason. I am not gonna lie, I scolded him and sent him to his room. The words hurt Justice more than they hurt me.
A week later, we decided to fashion a pump out of some tubing and an old meter, he had to wear it for 3 days and was not allowed to take if off unless to shower, JUST LIKE JUSTICE. I think things changed a bit for him that day, he seemed to understand a little more what Justice goes through, not entirely obviously but as best as a 5 year old can or any non diabetic for that matter.
I just wanted to take this time to recognize my amazing son. Not Justice today, Synsyre. Who tolerates so much and has had to change his life as well due to diabetes. They eat on the same schedule, same foods, and he cant snack if Justice cant. Hes OK with that…now. This disease forces children to mature way beyond their years. Not just those diagnosed but those around them too.
Just something I think we should all remember. Today is dedicated to the amazing siblings our Type 1 kids. You guys rock.