Friday, September 10, 2010

Nighttime Terrors

I knew I did it. But until last night I wasn't actually completely aware of it. Justice goes to bed at 8:30, dinner bolus is around 7pm. So we check his sugar at bedtime, again at 10pm, again at midnight, again at 3am, and then 6:45am when I wake. This is our routine, whether he is in range at bedtime or not.

When he's running low at bedtime, or during the day we actually check more. Anyway, he has been having some pretty erratic lows lately. Seems as if since he has started using infusion sets with steel cannula's his numbers having been way better, but also having more lows. I am not completely sure whats the deal but maybe this is why he needed so much more insulin the last 3 months?

Anyway as I walked into his room to do his 3am check, (hubby let me sleep and did his 10pm and midnight, gotta love that man). I actually woke up 30 minutes early so I said let me do it now. As I walked into the boys bedroom, I heard myself taking a deep breath and listening for Justice breathing, or snoring or grinding his teeth (yes he does that!). Something indicating my baby was ok. All the while I am prepping the meter, and looking for his hand. Prick. Blood. Strip applied to blood. 5..4..3..2..1 >>>>295! Holy shit. Ok, he had some lows right after dinner that resulted in almost 30 grams of carbs so I wasn't really surprised. I am always more grateful to see that high number then the low one. ALWAYS. I grabbed our bolus calculator plugged in the number, gave a correct of 1.5 units, then proceeded to check ketones. Ketones: 0.1. Ok they're are negative but its not 0.0 which is what I always want to see.

I set my alarm for an hour later. All the while laying in bed thinking, no parent should have to fear the worst when checking on their kids. I didn't cry, I just laid my head on my pillow, and anxiously waited for the next check.

Walking to bedroom, deep breath in. Jump to sugar reading...247. Ok he came down, good!

6:30am same tone, same feeling in my feet, always calmed when I see him turn or scratch his forehead or something. Sugar check....123.

WOW! He came down way more than I expected. His correction factor is 1 unit for every 100. Clearly basals need tweaking cause he drops a bit in the morning. But he was ok! He was cranky, and fussing with me about getting up for school. I smiled and proceeded to get ready for work.

Its a different feeling us parents of D kids have now when tucking our kids in. I used to think "GOOD NIGHT! SEE YOU IN THE MORNING! ITS MOMMY AND DADDY TIME!". Now I just wait until the next check so I can breathe easier.

I honestly wish all non Ds and parents with non D kids, would say thank you their pancreas' once in a while. I didn't realize how important he was before we lost him. Now I miss him like crazy.


Lora said...

I feel like your in my head typing out my thoughts. The walk to Justin's room every night feels so long. And when I have to correct and wait... so suckity!

Great post :)

Alexis of Justices Misbehaving Pancreas said...

Thanks Lora, as sad as it is that we are all dealing with its such a comfort to know "I am not the only one".

We actually were talking about Justin this morning, some kind of connection through the date and name I cant explain. :)

Reyna said...

"You don't know what you got...til it's gone"...I know so cliche...but true. I miss Joe's pancreas something FIERCE!!!

Wendy said...

Until I connected with other D Mamas online, I thought I was the only crazy one who searched for "signs of life" before I actually arrived to the bedside....listening to breathing, moving, snoring, ANYTHING to alert me that she's doing ok.

It's crazy.

It's so incredibly crazy.

Heidi / D-Tales said...

"See you in the morning!" just doesn't cut it any more, does it?

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