Wednesday, November 24, 2010

The Truth Behind our Thanksgiving.

This very well may be my first non D related post. Aside from Justices dx story this is one of the most private and hardest to post. Dont get used to it!

Thanksgiving for my husband and I is HUGE. Not became of the food, drinks, company and other normal things that come along with it. But because 7 years ago we had NOTHING.

Im sure youre thinking well theyre both laid off, and broke what do they got now? Ha! Lemme tell you.

Im going to give you the edited and shortened version. Posting from my cell is hell on my fingers.

Firstly Justice was concieved about 4mths after my husband and I got together. Yup. We knew from the first week it was love. Soulmates. Destiny. We wanted to be married and have a baby, it didnt happen in that order. God gives us what we need and sometimes not how we expect. I moved into his 3 bedroom brownstone which at the time was being renovated. Im talking gutted. No windows, floors up, it was a mess.

We ended up moving to Michigan to live with his mom and try and find a house there. It was beautiful. But the same month we arrived 15,000 jobs were cut. NO ONE was hiring. Worse than Vegas is now. I was a month away from delivering. At my first OB visit in MI they doc said J was measuring small and my placenta had stopped supplying him with food. I was put on high risk. All the while Biggah is looking for work, and we are surviving off of goverment help. We had NO choice.

Fast forward to D day! No. I said no Diabetes this post. DELIVERY!! I gave birth to a healthy 7lb 7oz angel. No growth issues!! But as we found out 3 days later when we were about to leave..he had jaundice bad. Billirubin levels were supposed to be under 8 I believe and his was 13s. 2 weeks in the PICU under lights. We slept in the hospital every night. Well we didnt sleep we stayed. Up and worried. His levels werent coming down but going up. High levels of billirubin can cause organ damage (hmmm) and or brain damage. Then the doc said somethinhg I never thought I would hear. "Your breastmilk is making it worse". Apparently besides good old fashion jaundice he had breastmilk jeaundice too. The doc sent us home to rest and get some clothes for him. Trying to keep us busy. Well we decided to nap for the first time in 2 weeks. When we woke our car was towed. You can only imagine how I flipped out.

Fast fwd to Justice coming home with a machine that had UV lights and a nebulizer cause he had RSV too. We realized we didnt have enough clothes for him. And couldnt afford more diapers. I went church to church to get what we needed. Its a lousy feeling.

Fast fwd 12 weeks we decided to go back to NY. A family member paid for our tickets and my mom said we could live in her guestroom till dh found a job and we had money to move.

Fast fwd to dh working his ass off and us saving more than enough money to move. His friend at the time had a who worked for a broker. We gave him all the money packed our shit and were ready to move into our new 2 bedroom apt!!

Fastfwd to his friend ripping us off. All our money gone. No apt. Stole our laptop with ALL justices baby pics!he was no where to be found. My mom had since moved and had no where for us to sleep. It would take months for dh to save all that money again. And it did. We lived on friends floors, hotel rooms, and once had to clean Justices bottles in central park while figuring out where to go next. We had only enough cash for diapers, wipes, and formula. Dh and I lived off of white bread and bologna sandwiches for weeks.

Fast fwd to a friend taking us in and I babysat for her kids so she could work. Dh worked around the clock to save as much money as he could as fast he could.

Fastfwd to us getting our own apt!! A studio. One room. No kitchen just a hot plate but it was ours! We had been sleeping on air mattresses with Justice and hotel beds. Now we had our own space!

Things were had still. Dh worked full time, I worked part time and in the middle of all this I found out I was pregant and lost the baby a few days later. God plan I guess.

Fast fwd to dhs raise and us moving into a 1 bedroom apt! It went like this for a year until we were in our own 3 bedroom apt! Romantic sidenote my husband couldnt afford a new engagement ring so he had them put his diamond from his earring he had since highschool in a setting for me. We had tried to sell it when things wre bad but couldnt get even 1/4 of what its worth.

Fast fwd to Synsyre being born , us having a beautiful wedding and making it out of all that shit!

We dont have the newest house, or biggest house, or nicest car. But we have our own bedroom. Our own kitchen.. Our own car. The kids have their own room. And through it all the most amazing man by my side.

So while I wish we had a big beautiful home we owned. When we look at our small 3 bedroom house we rent and can cook in and live in I am damn thankful!



Penny said...

Bravo hon and thanks for sharing! There is no judgement from where I sit - there but for the grace of God go I. I am happy you that got through, you survived intact and you are thriving! Blessings at Thanksgiving my cyber-friend!

Wendy said...

My friend....

A bigger house would mean more to clean...more to pay for heating and air conditioning and a nicer car would mean a higher payment and more for insurance.

You have each other.

And that's priceless.

The AZ economy has taken it's toll on our family as well....hard times....

But I'm so thankful to have what we need to survive. I'm so thankful we can access insulin. I'm so thankful we can feed our family.

In the end, family is all that really matters. The rest of this stuff is can't take it with you!

Lora said...

What doesn't kill us right? I hope you guys find great jobs that work for you soon. I know it sucks looking for work with D involved.

Nicole said...

WOW you guys are fighters and you never gave up...amazing!! You are an inspiration to everyone who are trying to get trough bad times!! Thanks for sharing!! and happy Thanks Giving :)

p.s. I love that your engagement ring had the diamond in it from your husbands earring he had since high school...that's sweet!!

Lorraine of "This is Caleb..." said...

What a ride. What an attitude. What a super hero set of parents.

My best to you, Lexi. I hope your luck turns soon. You have such an amazing perspective on it all and you truly deserve better.

Donna ((Sweet Momma)) said...

Sprinkled through-out life we all have what I like to call "quit your bitching moments." They are the times when you are feeling particurally sorry for yourself, and then suddenly you have one of these moments. You meet someone that has been through something or has done something amazing... something that makes you go "WOW - I am SUCH a baby... I could never do what they did."
Every one of those moments is a blessing... because they pull you back and give you the big picture and remind you that there is more to the world than your own little universe.
THANK YOU for giving me today's "Quit your bitching moment." I needed it!
I think you and your family are AMAZING!

Laura said...

Lexi - good hell woman ---- no judgment. I totally respect you and how hard you guys worked to get where you are. I love what Donna just said!!!!!

Total - "quit your bitching moment"!

I love you guys and am thankful for finding you.

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours!

PS - now I have your cell phone number - - - watch out! :)

Reyna said...

Fuck have been through it all!

I too, like the other gals am amazed, continuously, by your strength. Your perspective is unique, positive, and enlightening. I thank you for that.

I thank you for being you.

I am thankful for you dear friend.

Joanne said...

Wow... What a story. I'm amazed at your positivity after going through all that. What a strong spirit you have. Thanks for sharing your story, I love getting glimpses into what makes everyone tick.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Renata said...

Wow, so while I am sure you wouldn't have chosen that path AT truly know the value of all you have and own. You know the value of a strong and solid relationship. You know the value of hard work and the good will of others. You are blessed more than most people I know, even if it feels like hard luck.

Much love for you and your family. If there are tears, I hope they are from pure and simple joy.

T1DisneyGurl said...

hey girl,

I finally get to catch up on other people's blog posts...
first off: thanks for sharing! It is NEVER easy to share stories that are as personal as this one.
it is also not easy to make it as a young couple...i know.
this post really touched me.
You rock!


Deanna said...

You and your family have much to be thankful for with all you've had to endure. Thanks for sharing and being so candid. Have a blessed Thanksgiving. :)

Alexis of Justices Misbehaving Pancreas said...

thank you all for your amazing comments, love and support! Love u ladies!!!

Hallie said...

Wow, Lex. Thank you for sharing. You are truly an inspiration. I'm sorry you've had to deal with so much SHIT. But I think you're amazing. And DH is amazing. And is are Justice and Synsyre. And if you ever fond that dude that ripped you off.... I know there's a bunch of D Mamas that would love to have a few minutes with that bastard. I love your attitude! Love you- Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Heather said...

i admire your honesty. It's not easy being that open and honest with people. You have a wonderful attitude through it all. We have struggled and I have never had that good of an attitude.

You lived in Michigan?? Where? That's where I'm at! The jobs do suck here, still. Thankful my hubby got a new job in the middle of this horribly economy here. Probably at one of the few decent places to work too.

I hope that you have a wonderful Thanksgiving! You have so much to be thankful for!

Meri said...

Well you have me in tears. I am in awe of your strength. Look at you now, you are a wonderful advocate for this disease, an amazing mother and wife. You are so wonderful. And Bravo for your husband also working as hard as he has. Praying for more blessings to come your way this holiday season!

Princess LadyBug said...

I'm such a mix of emotions after reading this. First & foremost is a LOT of love, respect, & pride. You both are just amazing people & you're raising some pretty amazing kids.

There's also anger. People I'd like to just give a good old ass kicking to. Starting with that friend that stole your money AND your laptop. For fuck's sake! I hope karma hits him like a sledgehammer. Or a cement truck! :P

You really are one of my heroes. No joke baby. You are freaking awesome!

Cara said...

You guys have been so blessed! Tough times happen to most people. You guys are tough & I feel blessed to have gotten to know you.

Stephanie said...

Sending big hugs to you and your family. Although - you don't need the hugs from me. You are rich in love in your home, and that is worth far more than a big house, fancy cars, etc. You guys are survivors and an inspiration. Happy Thanksgiving weekend!

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