WARNING: THIS POST IS INSANELY LONG AND INVOLVES ALOT OF BG PLAY BY PLAYS, RAMBLING, AND CURSING.
ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK.THIS WAS WRITTEN 2 NIGHTS AGO.
Today was officially the day from Diabetes HELL. Let me start by explaining a few weeks ago Justice started running higher than usual no matter how many corrections we gave or what he ate. He had a slight infection in his leg a week or 2 before this started so I didnt think
it really had much to do with that. So next assumption growth spurt. Persistant 300s that wont correct and dont produce ketones, thats usually that answer.
So Dh and I discussed and discussed and discussed. Logged. Logged. Logged. Looked. Looked. Looked. Tweaked. Tweaked. Tweaked. It worked! Yes we had the occasional low or high due to food (Chef Boyardee is the Devil and is now BANNED from this house), and activity but things seemed on track.
Fast forward two weeks and lets go to three days ago. Lows started appearing here and there without activity. But nothing too crazy. UNTIL LAST NIGHT. TODAY WAS THE ULTIMATE LOW OF THE LOWS.
Last night Justice went low right before dinner but he was running around like a nut with Synsyre so it wasnt completely unexpected. He was 44. Juice and up to 75. We normally make him wait to eat until hes at atleast 80 but we figured 5 points wasnt a big deal and he was famished. We
did decide not to bolus him till he was almost done though, normally we bolus 5 to ten minutes before. So he ate triscuits with melted mozz, and salsa. Topped with turkey bacon (our low carb version of pizza), and stringbeans on the side.Oh and Dads cheesecake for dessert. We know how
these foods affect him. Small rise and nice come down, no crazy or delayed spikes.
30 minutes later. As Reyna always says.."MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA IM LoOOooOOwwww!!".
5...4....3....2....1 ------50!! With 4.5 iob. What do we do?? He JUST ate so hes gonna spike but we cant just wait. So I treat with juice,and recheck in 15 minutes.Bg check...60 Ugh. Dh says lets wait 30 minutes before feeding the IOB so we arent dealing with a 500 later.So he has a lollipop.
Recheck....70.. Ok, but Im not happy with that. So he has an applesauce and is back up to 106 and stays there until 3am when his lazy effin liver decided to kick in and show us a 307. Correct. sleep. Check. 120. Perfect. Its time for school!
Shitty night huh? Wait Im not done. Let me say first I am sorry for the play by play but sometimes I need to write it all out for myself. I need to get out the frustration,and heartbreak that this bitch ass disease causes.
And here goes today:
Justice wakes at 120.
When he decides to eat hes 137.
Eats. Bolus. Goes to school.
Lunch is at noon so when my phone rang at 11am, I knew it wasnt good
"Ma I felt low in class so I drank my juice". "Good job baby, what was your bg?"."Umm 52". Telling myself to breathe, I tell him ok, and we see how long it was since the juice. He sees it was 15 minutes so he rechecks and tells me he is 86. We agree he should have 2 marshmellows and then he can go back to class until lunch in an hour. Noon. Ring. "Ma, my sugar is 85 I feel great! Can I go out to recess?". They check Justice
before recess and then after recess which is before lunch. Me thinking playing wild at 85 is NOT a good idea, I ask him to eat 2 marshmellows and wait 10 minutes. He insist she feels fine, and says he WILL eat the mellows but not wait. "Ma Im not gonna play! Just sit down on the grass with a "friend" (which means a new girl he met). It took all I had
to not say NO!! but I need to allow him to make more choices about his D care and let him tell me how he feels you know?
Recess over. 12:15 Riiiiing!!--"mom im 53, you were right." He mumbles, I could hear the defeat in his voice and the regret that he didnt do what I asked. I tell him its ok and its not his fault. Hes already sipping on juice. "Ok Justice Im gonna come by early and drop Syn with his teacher and sit with you until you come up and can eat ok?". (I go to the school everyday or dh does to bolus him at which time we drop Syn off to afternoon Kindergarten). 15 minutes passes and my sweet boy is now beyond upset. "mommy, Im still 53". I am at this point right around the
corner, I tell him suck down another juice Ill be inside before hes done.Sure enough I come in and hes sitting there so upset. We recheck and hes at 70, so we use a trusty pixie stick and go to the lunch room to grab his lunch box. At this point hes missed lunch and will have to eat in
the nurses room and be late to class.
We go inside grab the lunch and then there stands this lil (excuse my language but NO ONE messes with my babies) bitch shaking her narrow hips, that Im sure she inherited from her ignorant mama who didnt teach her any better "haha you cant eat..blah blah blah blah!". I stopped. I froze. It
took all my strength not to trip this lil girl on her way! Justices face was ridden with hurt,embarressmnent and anger. He had just sat here battling lows for an hour and this lil shit taunts him! NO NOT ACCEPTABLE!
We go back into the nurses office, I get the little girls name. We talk to office staff and I note her name for parent teacher night next week.
He eats, I bolus. He is happy. I go home to clean and get laundry put away before I have to pick the kids up in 3 hours. DH is out all day at interviews so its just me. Some alone time. yay!
I run in the house, and have to pee sooo bad!! Just as I sit on the porcelain throne...RIIIING!! I knew it. I didnt have to even look at the caller ID I could feel it.
"Mom Im 63! I just ate! Please come get me, I dont want stay here like this." I ofcourse said ok and rushed my ass out of the house. I had him tell me his IOB and told him once he hit 75 to eat
his pack of PB crackers but that I would most likely be there by then. And once again I was. (we live 3 blocks from the school).
We asked for the office to have a student bring down all his work and homework (ironically was that stank lil girl from earlier) and we headed home.
Bg check at home showed he was at 97. He wanted a yogurt so I bolused for some of it, and he ate. Never spiking over 100.
Ok Moving on...time to shower. Did I mention there was a site change somewhere in there?
Bg check....50! Are you fucking kidding me!??!!
Ok. Pump off. Juice. Recheck. 89. Shower.
Dinner time. 106. We decided due to the events of the day we would bolus after he ate. He consumed 76gc.
20 minutes later?
YUP>>>>>FIFTY FUCKING THREE!! 53!!
The next hour plus went like this (with reduced basal,no basal,juice, gummies, lollipop,etc) 53, 53, 53, 56, 57, 67, 55, 54, 70, 63.
Where the fuck is the food spike he should have had from all that dinner!??! WHERE!?! And no hes not honeymooning. 2 years in, we never honeymooned and Endo has agreed his pancreas is DEAD. So dh and I agree his growth spurt is over, time to put basals back now.This happens
now and then he grows we need more insulin, its over and so now he crashes. But never like this!
But first how do we get his bg up!? Pump was suspended for an hour and NO movement!
He was pale, eyes sunk in, sweaty, sometimes smiling sometimes not. He looked like he felt fine, and then would plop down and say "why me!? why is this my life?". And then I remembered reading a fellow D moms post, I wasnt sure if it was Hallie or Wendy, but I knew one of these amaZing
moms had spoke of the Mini Glucagon dosing.
1 unit of Glucagon for every year of his age. Given via syringe
So I posted on FB for the directions of the Mini G. A boatload of D moms all came to my rescue, all the while Wendy is texting me and keeping me calm. While dh is rubbing Justices back.
Syringe, push, swirl, lil syringe, pull, -----"MOM WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT!??!?!". J knows what Glucagon is for and he was scared shitless when he saw that. I explained it wasnt the normal way to use and it was to help him come up faster. In my haste I forgot to clean the damn bottle
with alcohol and somehow the syringe wouldnt pierce his skin the first time. Then it did.
I jabbed it into his arm and breathed so heavily. My sons mortality stared me right in the face.
I was beyond scared. This disease can kill. Lows are no joke. I had to stay calm for Justice but it felt like someone was stepping on my chest.
15 minutes...122!! PRAISE GOD!!!!
I could breathe. That thing on my chest moved. He didnt leave but he moved.
Then 191, 185, and at bedtime 221. I decided to leave the 221 for a bit before I correct.
I am emotionally drained. I am mad at myself for not feeding the IOB completely but this has never happened before. I mean yes during MDI we had a low that took 3 hours to come up but he hadnt just eaten
a shitload of carbs!Normally we give the exact carbs for the iob if hes low
but seeing as it was only 15 minutes or so after he ate I figured the 40 grams I gave plus no basal would do it. Can you tell I feel stupid? Yea. I ffeel guilty. Dh and I agree now even if he ate 5 min before the low we are feeding the iob FULLY. Fuck that!
Our motto in this house is better high than low, and we kept saying that,
but it felt like he should have came up with what we gave plus what he ate PLUS no basal for an hour plus but just wouldnt! Normally its either food or no basal and that works. Today was one of those D days where you feel at a total loss. Like a shitty stand in Pancreas.
I want to check his sugar every 3 minutes. I want to reach inside of my stomach and remove my pancreas and magically orb it to him. I cant. I cant. I cant.
You know what was shocking? All the posts on facebook and NOT ONE NON DOC friend asked me or messaged me about what was going on. It felt so lonely all of a sudden. What would I have done without the DOC?
SHit I wouldnt have known of this Mini G and its lifesaving ways, I wouldnt be able to text Wendy and scream and tell her I was scared.
I would have been sitting here waiting for the endo to call back while dh and I panicked.
Im sorry this entry is soooooooo long, but it has been one hell of a night.
With all that said.
DIABETES YOU CAN SUCK IT,AND THEN CHOKE ON IT.
DOC. I LOVE YOU.
DMOMS YOU ARE MY ROCKS.
JUSTICE ID DO ANYTHING TO MAKE IT BETTER, PLEASE BELIEVE ME.
I WISH IT WAS ME.
(Sidenote: For those who mentioned Medicaid covering Dex in the other post, sadly I called when we first got it, and they said they cover NO CGMs. Any ideas?.
Also I HATE to put this out there but...we are limited to 300 strips a month, and we do get samples from our endo when she has strips, sometimes 100 sometimes only 20. In the last 2 days we have gone through almost 75 strips. If anyone has any extra that they can spare, or dont need it would be much appreciated! Email is JusticesPancreaticAvengers@yahoo.com)
Again, thank you all for listening. I needed to let it all out.