Sunday, February 6, 2011

Perception.

With all the events of this past week, I have heard so much bitching. About cures, JDRF, what isnt being done, just so much that my head hurts. I too am a Dmom so trust me I get it.

But I got to thinking....

How things affect you can soley depend on how you percieve them.

Diabetes sucks. We know this. Its bullshit. I hate it. You hate it. Our kids hate it.

But tonight as much as I may want to write all the negative, all the things I hate the most I realized my mood, Justices mood, my feelings can be shifted If I change my perception.

That doesnt mean all of a sudden bgs will be perfect, sensors without error, or sites without flaw.

It doesnt mean I dont wish Diabetes didnt exist or that I despite IT any less.

It means that I can see the good in everything that is so clearly and obviously...bad.

We have strips.

We have an endless supply of meters.

We have a pump.

We have a CGM.

We have sensors.

We have sites.

We have infusion sites.

We have cartridges.

We have iv preps.

We have skin tac.

We have iv 3000.

We have glucose tabs.

We have juice.

We have tummietotes.

We have ketone blood strips.

We have a scale.

WE HAVE A FRIG FULL OF INSULIN.

We have the DOC. We have each other.

As much as you/we may hate needing to have all of this stuff, we would hate much more to not have access to it.

To not have our beautiful children laying by our sides.

To not be able to treat that low or correct that high.

To change that site

To check those ketones.

I am happy. Diabetes and all. I am happy and forever thankful that I have everything I need to keep my son here with me. To be able to know I can care for him and his disease.
To know when times are tough I have all of you to turn to.

So many out there dont. Mothers are kissing their babies good night without knowing if they will see them again in the morning.

Adults are begging in the streets for something to eat or for money to get their meds.

Parents are mourning the loss of their child due to inoperable cancers ravaging their childs bodies.

Familes are dealing with all of this with no support system.
Perception.

Today I count my blessings. Diabetes and all.

Can you see it?


16 comments:

smashtastic said...

There are a lot of things I am thankful for that I wouldn't have without diabetes. And I'm thankful for every bit of medication, tool & support I have. Some days are harder than others...and I seem to be in a rut of expressing my irritation with them. But I really am thankful for a lot of things its given me. Granted...I wouldn't wish it on anyone and I would get rid of D if I could.

Reyna said...

I agree with "perception" Lexi. I think that is the hardest part for us as parents of CWDs...teaching them perception and to live each day to it's fullest and being grateful for all we have in this life...not even just "d" related for sure.

Living each day balls to the wall with Joe brings me joy and usually my perception feeds off of my mood. I by no means am saying that diabetes is fine, that I am loving it, or that I am cool stabbing my kid multiple times a day...but I find I go longer and longer periods of time being somewhat at peace with it as the diagnosis date fades further and further in our past.

Great post friend!

Penny said...

YES Lexi - this is exactly how I feel. We get our children each and every day, they are alive, we are keeping them alive and we should be thankful and enjoy every damn day we have. Every. Damn. Day. I will not bitch and moan about diabetes - whether its hard to manage or whether I have a hard time with it - cause you know what - there are mothers who are waking up and their children are not here. Period.

I am grateful. We have all that we need. We have each other. And when I live like I am thankful, my whole world shifts. I begin to think that this, no matter how 'hard' it is, is NOT the end of the world. I live a life of thankfulness - for all of you, for my children and for what we have. It is all about perception. We can think we are in hell on earth (and don't get me wrong, it's ok to visit that hell on earth feeling for a day or so, but get out quickly), or we can think we are in heaven on earth.

Shannon said...

I agree. I remember one time when I was feeling bad about Diabetes, I saw a friend at the library. She had lost her daughter (who was Zac's age) to a car accident when she was only 6 years old. I suddenly realized that she would probably give anything to have her daughter back.....even with diabetes.

Lora said...

"perception"... absolutely! Its hard to see past our own needs, wants, desires.

Its hard to see the good in somthing that feels so wrong; something that eats away at you or someone you love.

But we are lucky... even on the worst days.

Joanne said...

Great post. Love your attitude on this. Our kids are watching us to see how we respond. And that, in turn, will be how they respond.

You are right we ARE blessed. It sucks, and Lora's right... it's hard to see the good in something that is so hard on our kids. But I am thankful we have what we need to make sure Elise will be okay.

Donna ((Sweet Momma)) said...

Yes. I couldnt agree more... its all about perception.

Great post!

connie said...

This was a great post!

I am always very aware that on my darkest of days, there is always someone...somewhere...who is suffering 10x's more than I am. I try to remind myself of this often, it doesn't mean that I don't have my really bad days. I DO. I'm sure we all do, but it doesn't hurt to be reminded that for all that we don't have (or wish we could have)...there are thousands of things we do have that people around the world could only dream of.

I can't say it any better then all of the other comments already. Like Joanne and Lora said...it still sucks and it's hard, but we are lucky that we have such access to the things our kiddos need to not only stay healthy, but also to keep them alive.

Thank you for reminding us how blessed we are.

Hallie said...

You are so right! We are blessed. I try to never lose sight of that!

Nikki of Our Diabetic Warrior said...

Beautiful post! Though our children have a horrible disease, we have the tools to manage it. From all of the sad diagnosis stories that I have read on blogs, one thing in common is that our loving Lord has protected them. He has great things in store for our children. He will use all things for good, even the bad and the ugly!

Pam said...

When Grace was diagnosed we were sent to Children's Hospital. We had to walk through the lobby to get to the ER. The first thing I saw was a child Grace's age in a wheelchair, hooked up to an IV, with no hair. Perspective. I get it.

Misty said...

Amazing point Alexis! It's so funny, you and I are thinking along the same lines. Look for my post coming up in the next few minutes...:)

Sarah said...

I completely agree... It has been difficult for me to listen to for many reasons, mostly because I still think that there are people out there that are so absorbed with their child's BG # that they forget to enjoy the day, they're so focused on fixing that they forget to live.
This post is a great reminder to us all that we have a plethora of things to be thankful for!

donna said...

very nicely written. Its all in how you 'see' it. We are extremely lucky aren't we. So many are not.

Wendy said...

Absolutely beautiful, Alexis.

This very thing has profoundly affected my heart.

More details to come...stay tuned.

Shannon@ The New Normal Life said...

This is an amazing post! and it is a great reminder when we are feeling beaten up to remember all we have! thank you so much!

Celebrate With Us!