Last night AFTER I posted about the lows he had during the day, I inserted a new sensor and laid down with the boys.
Shortly after start up, when I heard a low alert I thought, no way is this sensor working that fast! We had JUST entered 2 bgs. 98, and 89. Well. he was 87 double down.
Bg check: 70. Good job Dex. I grabbed some soda, and had him chug chug in his sleep. All the while he is smacking me. I feel the tears building up. I text Biggah, while I wait to recheck.
But then Dex alerts..50 double down. I recheck even though its only been 7 minutes. 56. I opt for a lil cake frosting in his cheek. Fuck it. Ill correct a high later.
Same thing happens again. 47 DOUBLE DOWN! Bg check 46. FUCK! I start shoving frosting down his throat, all the while prepping myself that we may need glucagon. I even disconnected the pump.
I run and grab the glucagon and clutch it tightly.
J wakes. He knows whats going on. I prefer he be awake, sleeping and low is scary. No way to know if hes asleep still or passed out!
Dex beeps again. LOW DOUBLE DOWN. I am now on the verge of tears. More frosting. More Praying. He says his tummy hurts, I rub it. We agree if hes not in the 60s in 15 minutes, we will do a mini Glucagon. He's fine with that.
Finally he hits 78! Praise God. I let him eat a Nutella sandwich, milk, and Goldfish, He was so pale, so drained. He finally goes to sleep, Dex now shows 90 double up. Fine give me a double up at this point. Ill take it.
Of course I corrected highs till 5am, but my baby woke up with me this morning, and that's all that matters.
No clue what happened. New infusion site, but same vial of insulin, same foods, same activity. Some times D just does what it wants I guess.
While I "slept", I kept remembering how things used to be. Actually J reminded me while we were up chatting.
I would smile while they play.
I would laugh while they play.
I would inhale the fresh air and moment of quiet in the house, while they play.
I would talk with other moms while they play.
I would gaze into my husband's eyes, loving the moment we could share, while they play.
I would join in, chasing them around the house, intoxicated by their giggles, all the time thinking how well they will sleep later on, while they play.
I would prepare an array of snacks for my hungry boys to ravage, while they play.
Id grab some juice,or water to quench their thirst, while they play.
I would egg them on to race each other, and run faster and faster, while they play.
I may even catch up on the phone with my sisters or brothers, while they play.
I would catch a second to rest while they play.
I RUN for juice
I ask what Dex says, while they play.
I adjust basal rates while they play.
I scoop a lethargic J off the grass,
I clutch the Glucagon, just in case, while they play.
I feed the IOB while they play.
I worry how low J will drop while they play.
I pray he wont drop while they play.
I have cried
I have counted carbs, compiled snacks, and planned hours ahead
I shove candy down J's throat while they play.
I run outside to make sure J hasn't collapsed, while they play.
I ask them to slow down, and perhaps take a break, while they play.
I worry about how low he will go tonight, meaning no sleep, while they play.
I am always a Pancreas
While they play, I wish they could JUST PLAY.
Again today..while they played...double downs..followed by double ups which stop midway, and go right back DOWN. We are ready to get off this ride!!