Thursday, May 5, 2011

The Elites.

I have so many of these. Which to post? I am honestly scared  someone will either think they suck, or I don't know be judgemental? But I  have to remember  I don't write for those people, I write for the ones who lift me up,  support me, and the rest of our group.

To new D moms, or D dads,  when you wake to check your sweet child's sugar...you are  not alone".


The Elites By Me


Its 3am. 


The world is sleeping. Except for the chosen ones.


I call them The Elites.


Zip. Pop. Click. Beep. Poke. Beep.


Count down begins. Feels like an  eternity.


5...Thoughts of what will happen next circle my mind. A sleeping child pulls away, to cuddle his teddy bear.  A snoring  spouse can be heard through the thin walls. 


4...A restless brother  is tossing and turning, I try not to wake him. I glance at his fingers, already so blistered,  and wonder what another  20 years will bring to them.


3....I  wonder if the other Elites will sleep tonight. Will I? Will I need to coax  a sugary substance between his pursed lips? 


2......Or fumble in the dark, to  push buttons, to administer some life juice?


1.....Beeeeeep! Deep breath in.


117. 


Exhale. 

I kiss his sweet face, whispering  I love him. Thinking to myself that he will never know how much.



I finally lay my head down on the pillow, readying  myself to do it again. 


6am.


Zip..Pop.....







11 comments:

The DL said...

This is beautiful. He will thank you one day for being such an amazing mom :) Keep it up!

Penny said...

Love.
We all do what we need to do.
Support and reassurance that we are nit alone in this journey.
Love to you and J and S.

Tamara said...

This made me all a'teary eyed :) Zip, click, beep, I'm with you mama. I only hope they'll never know how much we love them. That they'll never need to do this for their own littles. If that can hold true, I'm fine with them never knowing how much. :)

Alissa said...

You are so wonderful, your writing is spot on, and thanks for sharing! #4...Last night I found myself at Naomi's sleeping side washing her fingertips and gently massaging each little one with Aquaphor in hopes that maybe it will help them out. I wondered if it would mess up my checks later in the night but really - I could deal with that then...right? :)

Amy said...

You are an awesome mom!!!! And such a great writer.. This one really hit and I am wiping my tears as I write this.. I often do think about all the other D mommas out there in the middle of the night and what their night is like..

Nan said...

oh....this is beautiful, Alexis! sweetly and honestly written...and it could be any one of us on any given night. (and the 117...ROCKS!)

Denise aka 'Mom of Bean' said...

Right there with you. It's amazing all the thoughts that can run through ours heads in between those beeps. I'm pretty sure we have all of the time zones covered in the DOC, so there's always someone up all through the night. We are never truly alone!!

Heidi / D-Tales said...

Beautiful!!!

Reyna said...

Ah Lexi...love this poem. It was spot on AND thank you for being a ROCK of support in the DOC.

Misty said...

Thanks so much for sharing...

Amy said...

You are a natural with the words, my dear. I am honored to be an ELITE!!!!!

Celebrate With Us!