My husband. I mention him here and there but I haven't talked much about him on this blog. (I've been neglecting my persona one).
His name is Terrence but everyone including me, calls him Biggah(er) cause well he's bigger than most. He's 6 ft 8 1/2 inches. Yup.
He's 8 years my senior, and has a great sense of humor.
He makes me feel like the sexiest woman on earth even when I haven't brushed my teeth yet or cleaned the goop out of my eyes.
He is extremely protective of me and his kids. No one can say or do anything to hurt or put any of us down without him stepping in. Trust me you don't want that.
He's beyond smart. Compassionate, loyal, sensitive and really the most loving man I've ever known.
He's an amazing husband, wonderful father. He is my best friend.
We have been together for 10 years.
If you have been following my blog for a while you know we have been through more than our share of hard times.
I am the emotional, anxious, hysterical one. He is my calm. My rock.
I could honestly go on and on about how amazing he is. In every way.
Is he perfect? Hell no. But he's perfect for me.
He is also an amazing pancreas for Justice.
When Justice was dxed he had just been laid off, so I was working full time. So Biggah from day one (literally day one. Hospital wouldn't let J come home till we both could carb count, do shots, check bgs, ketones etc) has done it all.
I admit I do the basal changes because I was the one who found the DOC, read Think Like a Pancreas and pumping insulin but he is hands on.
Site changes, cartridge changes, 3am checks, carb counts, swagging, temp basals and all that.
I know when I'm out with the girls (which he insists I do 2x a month to get a break) that Justice is in good hands. No great hands.
He knows when I am burnt out. He knows when I need him to take over or when I need him to assist me.
Like last night.
J went to bed at a perfect # and ended up 340 double up. I knew it was a site issue. (While steel sets are amazing, sometimes when J plays wild, he may bang the site, causing a blood vessel to pop or something. Anyway clogged canula).
I asked him to assist me. We were already up watching Ugly Betty together, so I wasn't disturbing his sleep. He came in with everything I needed, looking at me deep in my eyes, as if to say " I know baby I know". We have had a rough few nights. Lows, highs, all different times, no rhyme or reason. We are exhausted.
As I prepared the site change, he just stroked Justices face, holding his hand.
Justice never flinches or complains about site change, except in his sleep. (Weird). He flinched. I saw his pain transfer to Biggahs. I saw Biggah feel helpless that he couldn't take this disease from him. I saw how much he loved his son.
I remembered the day Justice was dxed. Biggah asked the doctor with complete seriousness "can you do a transplant? I can give him MY pancreas". All the while tears streaming down his face.
At that moment I realized this imperfect, stressful, insane life I live, works...because I have someone taking the journey with me, who supports me, loves me, and as he says " wouldn't let me hit the ground, if he was falling himself".