Be in the moment. Work on THAT number. Don't let it overwhelm you or cloud your mind. Don't get swept in the emotions of it all. Remember not to take it personally.
How do you do this? Can you do this everyday? All the time? Do you get swept up?
Can you live in the moment?
I can sometimes. Other times I wonder...how can I live in the moment when that moment compiled with the other ones can change the course of our future.
I've discussed this before. The thoughts of what can happen with repeated highs or lows at night. I know the what ifs. We all do. We try not to dwell on them or allow ourselves to become consumed.
Most days I don't. But sometimes....
I feel like a failure. Even though I know its not my doing.
Apparently the healing process (Justice got stitches last week), causes insane high bgs. 300s everyday. Well I never. Not since MDI anyway.
I see him feeling awful, wanting to eat a carb loaded meal, or read a book without a headache. But he can't. His mind and body aren't how they should be.
I take a step back. Correct, comfort and calm him. We move on.
But when those moments occur everyday for a week, I wonder what mark they will leave later. Will they damage something needed?
People don't truly realize how much our bodies need insulin. Not just to eat. But for everything.
These moments are awkward in my mind. As time is standing still, and the number on the meter feels like an eternity, it also somehow moves time rapidly to his future.
All the moments of now are connected to the moments of "when".
I can't avoid it. I can't change it. It makes my days longer, and my nights endless.
The mechanics of management don't consume me anymore, they are our normal.
But the moments of now and how they affect "when".
Well that's what makes time stand still yet move faster than I could think.
And sometimes the "trip" makes me sick.