I feel awful right now. I feel like maybe I'm hurting my son and of course the reason behind what I'm doing is the complete opposite intention.
I was reading Reyna's blog post, in where she mentioned endo saying maybe to cut down on testing. Our endo used to tell me the same shit. Then she said its working. Numbers are great and if HE is ok with it and you're ok with it, then ok.
But I went through our meter.
This past week...15 to 18x a day. MOST of them are while he sleeps. We have been having a crazy time with nightime basals.
When J hurt his arm last month the healing process took a toll, and bgs were out the roof! So we tweaked.
Then came lows.
So we tweaked.
Not as bad but still high. J's range during the day is 95-120 and nightime 120-150.
So I tweaked. Leaving basals but changing timing around, seriously crazy shit. Cause the Ping has the smallest basal incremement I couldn't go any lower or higher which is what was driving me nuts! Up to .725 caused lows, down to .7 caused highs! Finally I messed with the timing of things and got it!
No lows. No highs.
He cruises 95 to 105 all night.
That's a lil low for me at night. Even though we have Dex. 20% allowable margin of error is too close to a bad low if he's running in the 90s.
I prefer him between 120 and 140.
So apparently I've been checking him like mad. How I didn't realize it was that much I don't know.
Now some say well run him higher.
And some nights I do, not the 200s but upper 100s. But nighttime is a BIG chunk of an A1C, of their "control".
When hubby works I crash with the kids. Love being snuggled between them and having Dex on my chest. They love it too! Soundest sleep I get. I can run him tighter since I'm in his room, in his bed.
When hubs is off from work, I run him a bit higher, no higher than 180, this way I can sleep more and spend more time in bed with my man. I still check him atleast 3 times a night while he sleeps, that will never change. Atleast not that I can see.
I do this to achieve optimum control. Without lows. But I allow the 2 day "break" so I don't go batshit.
Justice hasn't said "ma you're checking me too much". And I know a lot of the day checks that are closer than 2 hrs together are because he didn't wash his hands, or he was outside playing and I felt low.
So now I feel well like shit.
Am I addicted to testing? Noooo. I just don't always trust Dex and sometimes I need to be double or triple sure...usually in the middle of the night.
I fear the worst. Even after almost 3 years I still do.
So I'm going to try hard to not check more than every 2 to 3 hours during the day (unless low or some insane high), and try the same for nightime.
I've decided to leave his basals at night where they are. 99 is perfect! But since its a little low for comfort and I can't achieve a happy medium..(its either 99 or 225) I'm going to give him a small 7gc bedtime snack. Probably yogurt. And see how that carries him. 100 with 7gc should put right where I want. Right? Ha. I know...
I prefer that to overnight corrections. And I know that those highs aren't good for his body, 8 hrs of 200s? I can't see that.
I also told J if I ask him to check his bg (unless I suspect something or he checks on his own, cause of feeling low or Dex) we will check meter together and see when last check was. 2 to 3 hrs apart from now on. We also set the alarm on Ping to help us keep track.
Will this work? I hope so.
Cause right now I'm exhausted, drained and feel like a complete shit right now.
He hasn't complained, or even mentioned it. And maybe its because of the insanity of the last few weeks with the healing and growth spurt. But either way I don't want him to feel burnt out, or to resent me.
Even though I know each check I did was because I care, love him and want to keep him safe.
Hope he and his fingers forgive me.