Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Do I Dare?

Ya damn skippy.

First I need to say this. If you know me via FB, twitter, my blog, the "real" world you know......

I am THE most honest person. Period.

I tell it like it is. Always

BUT.

I am first and foremost, a friend. Supportive, non judging and ready to be that shoulder some need to lean on.

My blog can be...well sad. It can be depressing. It can be like wow this girls life is jacked up.

And it can also be happy, a source of laughter and smiles.

Whichever it is its always "same same". Its always real, honest and here to let everyone know they're not alone in this journey.

I have met many different people, all who who handle D differently. Not just bg management but in their approach in regards to emotions.

And I LOVE that.

Sometimes I need to curse D out with my friend, and sometimes I need to realize how while D sucks, my baby is here and we are living this life.

BUT what I do not need is those who choose the more postive approach belittling or degrading me and others for our choice to vent, cry, bitch, whatever.

Please understand what I am about to say. Just because YOU may be on the more "postive" or in this case "glittery" side of things does not mean I fault you, or am angry with you. Shit I need you to help me get there sometimes!

What I do fault, or get angry with are those who because they feel differently, feel the need to put myself and others down.

I had Dmoms delete me on FB because I wasn't "glittery and happy" enough.

How is that supportive?

THAT is what I don't like.

That is why I make comments like "suck a unicorn horn, and get high in your pile of glitter".

To address those who have hurt me and my friends with their words.

I was actually told a month back "Well I'm a parent to my child NOT an advocate. Maybe that's your problem. I live our life to the fullest, so that's what we are happy".

How is this above statement ok?

Why am I put down for being a parent AND an advocate for this disease?

So I post funny pics of glitter and unicorns.

I create witty shirts explaining our kids bleed from their fingers not shoot out glitter.

I crack jokes.

Why? To show how senseless this arguing is.

I support both sides of the approach.

BUT I also have a different life than you may.

I have other struggles that complicate the ones D already creates.

So I vent.

I cry.

I get angry.

And if you don't that's ok.

I respect that. Honestly.

But don't make less of my life because my approach isn't like yours.

And this word glitter patrol?

Just because your positive doesn't mean I'm talking about you. I need to stress that because I don't want any of my Dmama friends I love to ever feel anything other than love from me.

If you have ever degraded, belittled, invalidates, insulted, or anything of that nature, myself or other Dmoms for OUR approach, then yes I'm talking about you.

This post is kinda jumbled because I'm actually upset now.

I feel that our words are being twisted.

And our community divided.

Its not ok with me.

And it shouldn't be ok with you.

23 comments:

Amy Lederer said...

Thank you, Alexis. I needed this today. I have fretted over this "issue" for quite a long time and have, I suppose, struggled with the definitions of it all and maybe that was a wrong approach. How we cope maybe shouldn't be defined. This disease is too much of our heart and we are hypersensitive about it because it has a hold of our babies. I appreciate your time, your clarity, your perspective. And agree with this post. And I hate that you are upset and hope I did not trigger that. ((HUGS))

Amy Lederer said...

Thank you, Alexis. I needed this today. I have fretted over this "issue" for quite a long time and have, I suppose, struggled with the definitions of it all and maybe that was a wrong approach. How we cope maybe shouldn't be defined. This disease is too much of our heart and we are hypersensitive about it because it has a hold of our babies. I appreciate your time, your clarity, your perspective. And agree with this post. And I hate that you are upset and hope I did not trigger that. ((HUGS))

Rachael said...

I'm glad your my FB friend :) I'm sorry DMamas are getting attacked. You girls are my heroes! I agree, just because you share the "ugly" side doesn't mean you should be attacked.
We live in a crazy world where some people cant handle reading that kind of thing. I say if you don't want to read it then don't. I am a pretty positive person, but I like reading the ugly stuff, because thats my life too.
I will be honest, a lot of people that read my blog is family, and out of state friends. Sometimes, it scares the Hell out of them, so I do tone it down a little, but I do talk about it.
I'm just sorry that people have to worry about this kinda stuff, and a scary illness too. :( I hope I have never offended anyone.....

Kim said...

"Suck a unicorn horn" is my new favorite phrase.

*hugs*

Kelly said...

Get high in your pile of glitter, HAAA!! Haaaa!!! Haaa!! Funniest thing EVER :) Great post! I SO totally agree, well said, as always!

Jen said...

Well put Lex. I don't get what has been going on with people behind the scenes on FB..I really don't get it. Everyone has their way of coping with D and we all do our very best for our kids. We have a great a life but sometimes, hell, a lot of times, D just really sucks! I need to say it! I need to talk about it! And the DOC is a place where I felt like I could talk about it and others would wrap virtual arms around me and understand. It bothers me that there seems to be this juvenile us vs. them kind of deal going down among people who are all living with this difficult illness. There is no room for hate..it seems a bit odd that these folks who are talking down about people not being positive enough are being really negative themselves..doing the very thing they seem to be rejecting. Anyway..blah blah..I love ya..and agree.Lets hope some peace comes back to the community.

Joanne said...

There are times when I think about all the stuff I miss out on because I'm not on FB. Then I reads posts like this, and it makes me glad I'm missing out.

Sorry people are jerkwads. I think those judgy-judgersons must live in complete denial. One day their head will explode from all the sunshine and roses crap they spew... just wait and see.

Scully said...

Oh man, what the fuck is going on out there? geez. I try so hard not to make my blog always down trodden but I am rather pessimistic when it comes to D. Cynically almost. There's just so little good things to come of a chronic DISEASE.
You are a parent of a PWD and that's exactly why you need to advocate. As my mother once said to me "I have to advocate for you when you can't, that's my job as a mother."
we love you and all your words.

Reyna said...

Smiles. I love you for the way you are Lex...ALL.OUT.THERE.

UNITED.PERIOD. Enough of the infighting. This life is hard enough. We should lift those when they are down. We should celebrate each other's victories...sadly, we will be put in the position to mourn each others losses. This is what "COMMUNITY" is all about.

I am hoping that we can all, eventually, see eye to eye on this issue. Love you Lex.

LuvMyElyssa said...

hehehe. Your blogs or your page is for your thoughts if anybody doesn't like your thoughts then they should get the fuck off the page & stop reading it. It's as simple as that.

Penny said...

Amen. ONE group, all in.

Nikki of Our Diabetic Warrior said...

Lexi, you just keep on venting, crying, screaming and whatever else you need to do to cope with diabetes. We all know that diabetes is not all glitz and glamour. If other people cannot accept that, then too bad.

We are a group, united in one!

Luv ya!

Mike Durbin said...

I chose to post my comments over on my blog, and you can see them here:

Fight Diabetes, Not Each Other!


Lots of Love, Lexi!

Hallie Addington said...

I get it. I do. Sometimes I'm in a good place with D. And sometimes I'm not. But I blog whatever I'm feeling. One of the best parts of the DOC is that we support each other. I'd hate to see that destroyed.

As far as being an advocate... I'm most definitey an advocate for my kid. But I'd be an advocate whether she had D or not. My advocacy would just look a little different. I think that part if begin a parent - to advocate for your child and teach them to advocate for themselves.

Love ya Lex!

Jules said...

whats funny is i dont think i visit any of the glitter and unicorn blogs anyway...i live in reality with D, or like Joanne says I could explode like a pinata!

Princess LadyBug said...

Lexi, my love, you are not only one of my heroes but you are one of the most loving, open, & fierce women I have ever (almost) met. If other people don't see that then they can go suck a unicorn horn!

I don't know what is going on & I probably shouldn't know because I would just get all kinds of pissed at someone. Diabetes sucks ass. There is no happy way to put that. It is what it is. Now I'm a positive kind of person & I try to wage my battles with humor & happy thoughts, but that doesn't mean that approach is for everyone. And I would certainly not go around telling people how they should act or be.

Diabetes kicks us all in the head & the heart way too much for us to be trading punches with each other. I bet those same people would get all bent out of shape if someone told them how to act or what to eat or not eat. So how dare they pull that stupid shit with you or anyone else.

So what I say to those people is bugger off. Live YOUR life and not someone else's. Oh and you better not let me hear about you messing with my Lexi or any of my other DOC peeps because if I do you will see Ms. Sunshine turn into Ms. Bitch with a can of whoop-ass. Trust me when I tell you, you won't like it & it won't be pretty.

Anonymous said...

I appreciate all those Moms who put themselves "out there" exposing themselves to all the jerks on the internet. And just because you are a Mom with a D child does not mean you can't be one of them. People vent, say and do things online they would never get away with face to face. Attacking others is not only divisive it is cruel. Everyone has a right to their opinion. And I fail to see the positive side to your child having Type 1. There are no positives. Not one. You can meet great people fighting for any cause... and I would prefer to meet those people without being personally involved. Tell it like it is, Lexi. Frankly, truthfully, without putting on a facade. No one is going to give us money for a cure if our kids are truly as healthy as they look. This "condition" is a serious disease... one that can take it's toll immediately today, as so many have found out, or at any time in the future. Key words being "AT ANY TIME." There are some lucky ones who escape paying the toll; but no one knows in advance into which category your child will fall. As Nancy Grace is so fond of saying "Let's not put perfume on a pig."

Wendy said...

I don't watch Nancy, but this cracked me up...

"Let's not put perfume on a pig."

HA HA HA HA HA!!!

Personally, I think diabetes is sugar coated enough.

I don't necessarily think it's healthy to wallow in negativity, but I also don't think it's healthy to avoid the difficult emotions this disease can create.

I think we only have one chance at this game of life...and you have to live every minute without regrets before it's too late.

Michael Hoskins said...

I've been so unconnected lately, and this is what I come back to...

Dude. Division sucks.

But you rule. No doubt.

And if anyone disagrees on that point..

Well, then I say to you:

"You can't handle the truth."

Or maybe that's what Col. Jessup said. I don't know.

Whatever. Going back to my pile of glitter now... where's my unicorn horn???

Meagan said...

I can't believe I had no idea this was all going on. I thought people affected by "D" were okay with us ranting and swearing about it. "D" SUCKS!

That said, I hope the select few that made you feel bad knock it the hell off and realize that on some days...giving "D" the finger is perfectly acceptable. We all should stick together...the only good thing to come out of "D" is the bonds I've made with the online community. XOXO

Anonymous said...

Thank you for being real. I am truly sorry your family is having difficulties, because mine is too. When you share your frustrations, fears and battles, I don't feel so alone. Frankly, I get sick of people expecting me to smile as I am being fed shit. No matter how high the glucose content, diabetes is still crappy, crappy, crappy.

Tracy1918 said...

Lexi, I love that you're real. Honest. Through the good and the bad. They are both a part of life. Glad you're my friend!

Sara said...

Lying on a blog and pretending that everything is glitter and unicorns doesn't do anyone any good.

The parents of a newly diagnosed kid who are feeling overwhelmed find that and then feel guilty that their life isn't like that. How is that helpful for anyone?

Keep doing what you are doing!

Celebrate With Us!