Lately my struggles with anxiety and disease phobia have taken a huge part of my blogging here. I think it's fair to say diabetes has created a monster.
The struggles of diabetes are obvious to a cross eyed duck, we all see them. The endlessness of it all. The checking, counting, lows, highs, emotional and physical toll.
But it can go much deeper, and for some of us it does.
A few months ago I shared a video about what I have been dealing with since Justice's diagnosis. It was probably the most honest I have ever been on my blog. It took a lot for me to own up to my feelings and more than that, share me with the world.
But when I hit publish I felt a sense of relief, like a weight was lifted.
I never knew the impact that video would have on others though.
The emails, texts, comments, tweets, facebook messages and calls were crazy.
People were thanking me. For sharing what they have been feeling themselves. For discussing the tabu topic of anxiety and hypochondria.
I cried. I cried first for every person who was feeling the same pain I was, and then because I had in some way helped them.
Every day I struggle with panic attacks, fear of illness, and some days hours googling or even going to the ER because I fear a pain that others may quickly dismiss.
I cannot separate what is normal and what is not.
I cannot rationalize that the body is supposed to go through things.
All I can do is fear.
Fear that just like the doctors missed something 6 weeks before Justice's dx, that the same will happen to me, my children or my husband.
I feel trapped in my own mind, and am now become anxious to just leave my home.
The biggest help and comfort has been finding friends like Hallie and Kate who live with the same thing.
And then it clicked.
It was clear to me what I had to do
For myself and others going through the same thing.
A safe place.
And something most people with anxiety and hypochondria don't get....acceptance.
I looked down at my YCDT bracelet, and knew I could do it.
With the support, love, patience and help of Kim, and the bravery and honesty of Hallie and Kate today I am proud, honored, excited and nervous to announce the launch of.....
That's right there's more in store before you get to see what's happening.....take it away Kim!
Click here now!