Friday, November 16, 2012

Thanksgiving for us.....

I originally wrote this post 2 years ago, when we were going through a tough time after layoffs.

Guess what?

We are there....again.

I was let go in September they say because of mine and Justice's constant health issues.

I'm on the hunt for a job but in the meantime things are rough.

Why does this always happen right before the holidays? No clue.

With all the commercials, ads, and posts about Black Friday I though this was a good post to take a look at again.

While people are pushing each other, and trampling others to buy the newest items in the stores some of us are sitting at home giving thanks for what we already have.

And quite honestly trying to figure how to get presents for Chanukah, and have a turkey that the kids can enjoy.

But we have been through way worse I will share below.

So I am thankful, grateful and beyond blessed to have everything I do.

And I don't need anything more.

(A cure would be nice though....)



This very well may be my first non D related post. Aside from Justices dx story this is one of the most private and hardest to post. Don't get used to it!

Thanksgiving for my husband and I is HUGE. Not became of the food, drinks, company and other normal things that come along with it. But because 9 years ago we had NOTHING.

Im sure youre thinking well theyre both laid off, and broke what do they got now? Ha! Lemme tell you.

Im going to give you the edited and shortened version. Posting from my cell is hell on my fingers.

Firstly Justice was concieved about 4mths after my husband and I got together. Yup. We knew from the first week it was love. Soulmates. Destiny. We wanted to be married and have a baby, it didnt happen in that order. God gives us what we need and sometimes not how we expect. I moved into his 3 bedroom brownstone which at the time was being renovated. Im talking gutted. No windows, floors up, it was a mess.

We ended up moving to Michigan to live with his mom and try and find a house there. It was beautiful. But the same month we arrived 15,000 jobs were cut. NO ONE was hiring. Worse than Vegas is now. I was a month away from delivering. At my first OB visit in MI they doc said J was measuring small and my placenta had stopped supplying him with food. I was put on high risk. All the while Biggah is looking for work, and we are surviving off of goverment help. We had NO choice.

Fast forward to D day! No. I said no Diabetes this post. DELIVERY!! I gave birth to a healthy 7lb 7oz angel. No growth issues!! But as we found out 3 days later when we were about to leave..he had jaundice bad. Billirubin levels were supposed to be under 8 I believe and his was 13s. 2 weeks in the PICU under lights. We slept in the hospital every night. Well we didnt sleep we stayed. Up and worried. His levels werent coming down but going up. High levels of billirubin can cause organ damage (hmmm) and or brain damage. Then the doc said somethinhg I never thought I would hear. "Your breastmilk is making it worse". Apparently besides good old fashion jaundice he had breastmilk jeaundice too. The doc sent us home to rest and get some clothes for him. Trying to keep us busy. Well we decided to nap for the first time in 2 weeks. When we woke our car was towed. You can only imagine how I flipped out.

Fast fwd to Justice coming home with a machine that had UV lights and a nebulizer cause he had RSV too. We realized we didnt have enough clothes for him. And couldnt afford more diapers. I went church to church to get what we needed. Its a lousy feeling.

Fast fwd 12 weeks we decided to go back to NY. A family member paid for our tickets and my mom said we could live in her guestroom till dh found a job and we had money to move.

Fast fwd to dh working his ass off and us saving more than enough money to move. His friend at the time had a who worked for a broker. We gave him all the money packed our shit and were ready to move into our new 2 bedroom apt!!

Fastfwd to his friend ripping us off. All our money gone. No apt. Stole our laptop with ALL justices baby pics!he was no where to be found. My mom had since moved and had no where for us to sleep. It would take months for dh to save all that money again. And it did. We lived on friends floors, hotel rooms, and once had to clean Justices bottles in central park while figuring out where to go next. We had only enough cash for diapers, wipes, and formula. Dh and I lived off of white bread and bologna sandwiches for weeks.

Fast fwd to a friend taking us in and I babysat for her kids so she could work. Dh worked around the clock to save as much money as he could as fast he could.

Fastfwd to us getting our own apt!! A studio. One room. No kitchen just a hot plate but it was ours! We had been sleeping on air mattresses with Justice and hotel beds. Now we had our own space!

Things were had still. Dh worked full time, I worked part time and in the middle of all this I found out I was pregant and lost the baby a few days later. God plan I guess.

Fast fwd to dhs raise and us moving into a 1 bedroom apt! It went like this for a year until we were in our own 3 bedroom apt! Romantic sidenote my husband couldnt afford a new engagement ring so he had them put his diamond from his earring he had since highschool in a setting for me. We had tried to sell it when things wre bad but couldnt get even 1/4 of what its worth.

Fast fwd to Synsyre being born , us having a beautiful wedding and making it out of all that shit!

We dont have the newest house, or biggest house, or nicest car. But we have our own bedroom. Our own kitchen.. Our own car. The kids have their own room. And through it all the most amazing man by my side.

So while I wish we had a big beautiful home we owned. When we look at our small 3 bedroom house we rent and can cook in and live in I am damn thankful!



Scott K. Johnson said...

I'm sorry. What a rough ride. You guys hang in there. I'll be thinking of, and praying for all of you.

Lora said...

Somehow, it all works out. You are one strong ass mama!!!

Amy said...

I don't have anything helpful to say... just know that I'm saying a prayer that things will work out sooner rather than later!

Tom Sexton said...

You and your family are winners, and an inspiration to others that read your story. I can't promise anything, but am looking for someone with your drive and determination to help distribute a diabetic friendly energy drink. Take a look at and let me know what you think.

Celebrate With Us!