Type 1 Education

Reading my blog and other Diabetes blogger's can be very educational and entertaining. But I also see how it can be confusing. There are alot of terms we use that most are not familiar with. Here is a guide to help you along.  As well as some of my educational posts, geared towards those who may not be familiar with Type 1.


Type 1: Type 1 Diabetes is an autoimmune disease, in which the persons body attacks the islet cells of the Pancreas, leaving it unable to produce insulin. A vital hormone we all need to break down food into energy. Type 1 can affect anyone at any age, and cannot be prevented nor cured with diet or exercise.

BG: Blood glucose. The level of sugar in the blood determined by testing. Justice's desired range is 90-140, anything above 180 is considered high and requires insulin to bring it down. Anything under 85 require fast acting sugar to bring it up. Low blood sugars are very dangerous and present immediate risks, while high sugars present long term risks in the form of complications. See here for additional information.

Basal: Background insulin used to help assist keep sugar levels steady throughout the day. This is done either by a shot of whats called "long lasting insulin", or via an insulin pump administering it every 3 minutes 24 hours a day.

Bolus: A large amount of insulin given either via shot or pump to lower blood sugar, or when a Diabetic is eating.

Temp Basal: This is a feature used on an insulin pump. It allows the pumper to lower or raise their basal rate in the event of illness, exercise or other, when they forsee they will need more or less.

Ketones: A chemical that can become present when sugar levels are dangerously high, Type 1 is sick, dehydrated or has not eaten enough carbs. This can be very dangerous and lead to Diabetic Ketoacidosis.

D.O.C: Diabetes Online Community. Such as blogs, twitter, facebook, organized forums, etc.

PWD: Person with Diabetes

D-mom:Mother of a Type 1


GC: Grams of carbs. The way a Type 1 calculates his or her dosage is mostly based on the carbohydrate count of the food. NOT the sugar. The total carb count. IE; those cookies are 19gc for 2.

IC: This is the insulin TO carb ratio. Usually this is determined by lots of testing, and sometimes trial and error. For example: For breakfast Justice gets 1 unit of insulin for every 11gc (grams of carbs.). So that would mean if Justice consumed 22 grams of carbs for breakfast the insulin needed for JUST the food (not factoring in if his sugar is higher or lower than his target) he would need....thats right! 2 units! Very good :)



HOW DO THEY EAT THAT?!:  

Pasta. Cereal. Burgers. Fries. French Toast. Garlic Bread. Ice Cream. Apple Pie. Chicken Soup. Chili. Chicken Parmesan. Veggies, fruits, juices, milk, hot cocoa, yea all that too.

THEY CAN EAT IT! Say it with me now?! TYPE 1's CAN EAT JUST LIKE YOU!

Well not just like you. There are some small majorly important steps that must be taken before they can indulge in that slice of cake or eat the healthy and delicious veggie parm mama made.

And this here post is gonna explain how!

First there are some words and abbreviations  I want to explain so that when I give the rundown on what steps are taken for a Type 1 to eat  you understand. Remember these are done EVERY TIME food is consumed.


GC: Grams of carbs. The way a Type 1 calculates his or her dosage is mostly based on the carbohydrate count of the food. NOT the sugar. The total carb count. IE: those cookies are 19gc for 2.


Bolus: A large amount of insulin either delivered via syringe or pump when ones sugar is either high OR when eating.


IC: This is the insulin TO carb ratio. Usually this is determined by lots of testing, and sometimes trial and error. For example: For breakfast Justice gets 1 unit of insulin for every 11gc (grams of carbs.). So that would mean if Justice consumed 22 grams of carbs for breakfast the insulin needed for JUST the food (not factoring in if his sugar is higher or lower than his target) he would need....that's right! 2 units! Very good!!

There are other factors that one must take into consideration as well. At the start of the meal is the sugar low? Which would usually mean less insulin is needed than what the IC result was, or is it high? Meaning it needs some more. These things are all based on other factors that to be honest would confuse the shit out of you more than I already have and you would click the X in the top right hand corner.

Sooo lets just say there's more that goes into the whole "is that suggested amount right or not?". But these are the basics.

So let me set the scene. Its breakfast time. Here's what must happen BEFORE Justice can eat, and this is no matter what! So even if you have a house full of people on Christmas, or trying to rush dinner  to catch a movie, or whatever you can think of...these steps MUST occur.


Justice checks his sugar. Result is 156.


Breakfast: A bowl of Kashi cereal with milk, 3 turkey sausage with Agave Nectar Syrup, and a Gogurt.


I  first MUST weigh the cereal on my digital scale. 


The carb count is 25gc for each 33grams. Well Justice eats 2 full servings every time. So that's 66grams on the scale, 50gc. 
Then the milk, is 12gc for 1cup. 
Total carbs for Cereal with milk : 62gc


3 Turkey sausage are per the box 3gc. 


Agave Nectar syrup is 15gc per Tsp. So I  measure out 1/2 tsp: 7.5 gc


You still with me?


Gogurt per the box is 12gc each. He has  one. 12gc.


So that brings the total carb count for his breakfast to: 84.5 grams of carbs. So we round of to 85gc for good measure.


Now I enter into the pump the amount of carbs.


It will divide that amount of carbs by his IC of 11, and give the number 7.70. 
But it will also factor in that his sugar was 156 and his target is 120. So it will suggest to dose an additional .25.


But he has gym today so I decide not to give the extra insulin for his sugar being a little "high" and just go with the 7.70.


Breakfast tends to be THE HARDEST meal for Type 1s. Meaning after they eat sugar levels spike to the heavens, and sometimes we have to  find tricks to avoid that. For us it means Justice bolus' 20 minutes BEFORE eating. 


So after all that I did, he must now WAIT to eat. 20 minutes pass and he can proceed! We only pre bolus for breakfast and very very large meals. Its what works for us, remember I ain't no doc.

Keep in mind this is all done with the pump, for those using syringes all this is done in  their heads or on a calculator. Yup. EVERY TIME THEY EAT.

Now of course there are times  when we go out to eat and cant weigh the foods, such as ice cream. BUT you better believe we have the carb count for that ice cream shops items on the menu! For us we use the trusty  Calorie  King book. It has carb counts for everything! Even most fast food joints! Whoohoo!!

So you see Justice can eat cake at your kids party, he can  have pizza with the class, hell he can have hot cocoa but we need to know carb counts. So when you invite us over, keep the nutritional info. It  makes it a lot easier on  us, and if  not don't look at us like we are nuts when we whip out our book and yes our scale!

There are a few things I think you should know.

1)  Once insulin is given for a meal ALL food must be consumed, or a dangerous low blood  sugar could follow.

2) If  more  food is wanted everything must be weighed and counted AGAIN. Yup.

3) This isn't so much to know but think about. There are type 1s  as  young  as  a few months.Can  you imagine trying to dose insulin for formula? Or the baby food that is more on the floor than in their mouths?

4)  Even medicine such as antibiotics, or cough suppressants can have carbs, and insulin will need to be dosed. This can be tricky as well, I have never seen a carb count for meds so I have to wing it!

Its  not easy for type 1s or the parents of type 1s to just sit down and eat, but thankfully by doing these things my son can sit and enjoy his birthday cake. 40 years ago this wasn't so. Diabetics were told to stay away from sugars and carbs. I am so grateful for new data  and technology that allows my son and other to enjoy food!

Of course not all foods are simple. Pasta, pizza, and  high  fat foods have delayed digestion and  can take time to figure out the  right dosing  for each  person. Its not an exact science.  Even with all  these formulas and  tools sometimes sugars end up low, sometimes high, because Diabetes has a mind of its own.

But I hope the next time you see my son, my friend, or my friend's daughter enjoying sushi, cake, or lasagna you understand they CAN  eat it, just like you. They just have a more "fancy" way of getting  ready for  dinner.

Happy Eating!



(If you can't view video in your country please click here. )

*Please remember moderation is key for all of us, not just those with Type 1 Diabetes*



THE  PAINFUL REALITY:

This was an emotional journey gathering all these pictures.. There's so much more to this disease than meets the eye, but not just the mechanics of it but the HOW. As you all know, or should know if you read this blog enough, a Type 1's body does NOT produce insulin. Period. It's an autoimmune disease, the body attacked itself and left the pancreas, as Justice says "DEAD". To survive we all NEED insulin. We cannot turn food into energy without it. We cant do anything without it. And in another post soon I will explain how insulin is needed for more than just carbs. But today, I want to discuss how our Type 1's get their insulin.


Myself and others have pancreas' that work. So we go about our day with our organs doing what they're supposed to. Justice and others do not. So how does this magical hormone get into their bodies? 
Well it isn't fairy dust. It isn't a pill (although Justice and his pen pal buddy Caleb think that would rock!), it isn't a cream, or a patch. No. Its nothing that simple. Nothing that easy.


Everyday people with Type 1 Diabetes and parents, caregivers of children with Type 1 diabetes must pierce their skin. Not once but multiple times a day. For the rest of their lives. Until a CURE is found. No, insulin is NOT a cure. 


Yes. A needle. A poke. A prick. A shot. A sting. A hole in their skin. This doesn't just apply to the man who is 50, or the girl who is 16, this also applies to my 8 year old son and my close friend Laura's 2 yr old Nate.
And this is where I explain how this post became an idea...


It's late night, March 17th, 2011 and Justice is still up, laying in bed. Restless. A finger poke is done to get a reading. 146. Dexcom shows 153. Nice. Now I pray he can fall asleep. But he is scratching, and moaning.
I ask him whats wrong, and he tells me his sensor of 5 days is itching so so bad. This has never happened. He usually wears his sensors for 14 days at a time. But its on his butt, and its been so hot out. I think the sweat built up, and well it didn't mix well. A sensor is what is inserted into the skin for up to 14 days to send readings to his Continuous Glucose Monitor also know as Dexcom. This is not the one that administers insulin, this is JUST for the Dexcom.These sensors are put in using a very long needle. Then the needle is pulled out leaving a wire sensor under the skin. 


I always listen to my lil man. If hes wants a new sensor then that's what we will do. I take it off and his skin is bumpy and red. I clean it and apply some cream. He sighs in relief. 


We now put the new sensor in on his arm, easy peasy, Justice never even flinches for sensor or site changes anymore, but the stupid transmitter will NOT go in! Im using the lil lever, Im changing the angle of his arm, nothing is working. Then I see it. Tears. Streaming down his face. Its hurting. I am hurting my baby. I bite my lip. I stop. Ask Biggah to come in and help me. By this time Justice is hysterical saying pushing the transmitter is pushing the sensor hard and it hurts so bad. By the time we realize he needed to rotate his arm in an angle that I would never have dreamed of to do this, his face is soaked. His eyes are big and red. My heart is broken.


I console him, clean up and tuck him into bed. "Its OK mommy. It just hurt that's all".


I go to bed finally, of course waking up a bunch of times to calibrate new sensor, check sugars, etc. My sleep was restless, it was 2 hours combined and when I slept all I heard was the cries of my baby. At my hands. But this is what we must do. We have no other option.


In the morning I was texting with Laura and I told her what happened. She mentioned that the same thing happens with Nate and he cries too. We discussed how strong these kids  and adults living with Type 1 are and how heartbreaking it is to hear their cries and see their struggles.


Then this post was born.


I want people to see. I want them to hear. I want them to understand what every minute and everyday is like with this disease. 


My last couple of posts have been more geared towards educating, on the different aspects of this disease. I feel if the media, the community, our friends and loved ones truly GOT what this disease was all about, and all it involved, there wouldn't be so much ignorance. Things would be easier in school, at church, at work. 
I recall someone mentioning when Oprah did a "piece" on Diabetes she said "its not that bad". 


Well I beg to differ. My son has the battle scars on his arms, tush, stomach to prove it. That's just the physical. That's not even the mental challenges this disease can create.


But I digress. I want to explain the different ways and how many times the skin is pierced and why. So sit back, read, and just imagine if this was YOUR day or YOUR child's day. EVERYDAY.


Blood sugar checks: This is done anywhere from 6 to 15x a day, sometimes more if they're ill, running especially low or high,or when things are just not going "right". This is done with a strip, a meter and whats called a lancing device. The lancing device has a small "short" needle on the end of it, it has spring mechanism. It is cocked back, a button is pushed and lancet is pushed into the skin. Piercing it and causing blood to come out. Strip is put into the meter. The blood is sucked up by the strip, and the meter reads the sugar. This is done all day. Everyday. Anytime of the day, no matter what else is going on. 


Infusion sites: A small plastic cannula or steel one that is inserted under the skin to administer insulin via an insulin pump. This is normally done every 2 to 3 days BUT if sugars are consistently high, if a site is pulled out, or insulin has somehow gone bad, the site must be changed. This occurs on birthdays, holidays, at 4am, during play dates, whenever. 


Syringes: Another form of delivering insulin. While some choose to use a pump others opt to use syringes to deliver their insulin. Using this form is called MDI: Multiple Daily Injections, this means minimally 4 shots a day up to as many as 10. EVERY TIME something is eaten, a shot is needed. On a date in a fancy restaurant, at the movies, at the beach. Wherever. Syringes are also used in the event of an infusion site failure, when sugar levels are extremely high, one cannot rely on their pump, and need to manually inject insulin. 


Continuous Glucose Monitor: A "CGM" is a device that is used to watch the trends (the ups and downs) in a persons blood sugar, they monitor the levels and let you know if you are dropping or going high. Sometimes the number itself is spot on, other times it off. This device is not used in lieu of finger pokes but in addition to. To get a better understanding of what that number means. A great number like 97 means nothing unless you can see if you're holding steady, going down, or going up. Its a great tool. In order to use this device a small metal sensor is inserted under the skin, again using a needle. Some CGM sensors can be worn for 2 weeks, others for a week. But again like infusion sites, life can occur, or device can err, and the sensor will need replacing. 


Can you imagine? Everyday, anytime, any moment, no matter what you're doing, no matter how you feel, how old you are, how hungry you are, how busy.

These children and adults are forced to be brave.They were not given a choice. Nothing could have been "done" to avoid or prevent this. This is life. Everyday. There are no breaks, no holidays, no days off. It doesn't matter if its your birthday, or Christmas, or if you haven't slept in days, have a test, a big date, company coming over, a movie to watch, games to play with your siblings, if your 8 month old is napping, or your 3 year old is hungry ...

Diabetes is there through it all. And although you may not see this part of it, it plays a major role. Without those finger pokes there's no way of knowing how much food or insulin to take, there's no way of going on with your day. Without taking insulin by one of the above mentioned methods, there's no way of living. Diet,exercise, some special  drink that you saw online,  none of those will work. Without insulin a type 1 will die within ONE WEEK. PERIOD.

Harsh?

Maybe.

But this is the painful reality.Id like to thank everyone in the Diabetes community who allowed me to use their words and pictures to create this video.

I hope our non diabetes friends and family learned a little more today.

I want thank Laura for sharing this video with us, I warn you it's heartbreaking, but its what she deals with daily.

More posts on what living with Type 1 Diabetes is like:
 

YOU SEE A NUMBER, WE SEE SOMETHING ELSE:


When I say Justice was 59, 200, 43, 499, 29, 113, 143, 178, most people see a number. Unsure sometimes whether its good or bad, or thinking "that's high." or "that's low".

A number for us is so much more. I hate to say it defines us, but it defines the moment. At that moment when we see a number pop up on the screen after just 5 seconds, its as if we feel a shift on our entire universe, that lasts way longer.

That moment changes things. It changes the way we react to what may have been a normal situation, may have been a fun time, or peaceful slumber. It changes the now of course, as if that number is out of the desired "range", then we must act on it without hesitation.

But that moment also changes how we see our future, our children's futures. Its what keeps us diligent, its what worries us and wont allow us to sleep, its what makes us act so aggressively and limit certain foods or other triggers.

Its what has me up right now at 2:40 am.

We had a number earlier, that I have seen before. Shit, I have seen lower. But the paleness of his face, the shaking of hands, the moaning in his voice is what made me have to stop and catch my breath. He was 59, Dex alerted, we gave juice. But then he started whining, saying he felt itchy, and tingly, crying that he felt like he was dropping more and more. So I checked him again, even though those 15 minutes that seem like an eternity weren't up.....39. I rushed to the cabinet and grabbed pixie sticks (we find these work great for J) I emptied a few in his mouth and looked in those big brown innocent eyes and saw it.

I saw him as a teenager having a low and no one was around. I saw him sleeping and dropping, and me rushing to his failing body to save him before it was too late,I saw him collapsing on the field at a college game. I saw things no mother should see. And all I could fucking do was pour sugar in his mouth.

When I see a low, I feel fear. I never freeze. I always react with haste, but the after thoughts sometimes consume me.


Symptoms you may have when your blood sugar gets too low include:



  • Double vision or blurry vision








  • Fast or pounding heartbeat








  • General discomfort, uneasiness, or ill feeling (malaise)








  • Headache








  • Hunger








  • Irritability (possible aggression)








  • Nervousness








  • Shaking or trembling








  • Sleeping difficulty








  • Tingling or numbness of the skin








  • Tiredness or weakness








  • Unclear thinking





  • Sometimes your blood sugar may be too low, even if you do not have symptoms. If your blood sugar gets too low, you may:



    • Faint








    • Have a seizure








    • Go into a coma





    • Other symptoms that may occur with this disease:



      • Decreased alertness








      • Hallucinations








      • Memory loss





      • Can you imagine seeing a number and seeing those things? Watching your child experience a handful and worrying about which others may occur? We can. We do. I am. I worry about him falling and hitting his head in gym, passing out on the way to lunch, we all worry about losing our kids in their sleep. Its beyond scary, it makes me question so much in my life. It make me angry, exhausted and so drained that I cant even just enjoy a moment anymore like I should.

        And once that low is up, and things are steady...Diabetes decides to rear its ugly face again...cause you know IT NEVER sleeps.

        Right now as I sit in bed, I am waiting for a correction to work. A dose of insulin to bring down, what I can only speculate is Justices liver kicking out glucose in a delayed reaction to that 39, which now has us at 350 at 2:30am.

        Seeing those up arrows on his Dexcom, and knowing I cant just click a button and make it stop is terrifying. While there are less immediate risks with a high blood sugar, it makes us worry about our child's future. Will they have their eye sight? Their kidneys? Will they be able to conceive? Have nueropathy? Why do I have to sit in bed and wonder this about my 8 year old son! I should be enjoying him sleeping with me, and his snores, I should be laughing at how him and his brother fight all day but now are snuggled up beside me. But I cannot. I am crying. I am scared that these times will change something in the future, that they will not allow him to be all I know he can and should be!


        A high blood sugar level itself is a symptom of diabetes. However, an individual experiencing hyperglycemia may have no symptoms at all.
        Common symptoms can include:



        • Thirst








        • Frequent urination








        • Urination during the night








        • Blurry vision








        • Dry, itchy skin








        • Fatigue or drowsiness








        • Increased appetite





        • If hyperglycemia persists for several hours and leads to dehydration, other symptoms may develop, such as:



          • Difficulty breathing








          • Dizziness upon standing








          • Rapid weight loss








          • Increased drowsiness and confusion








          • Unconsciousness or coma





          • Left untreated, hyperglycemia can lead to a condition called ketoacidosis, also known as diabetic ketoacidosis (DKA) or diabetic coma. This occurs because the body has insufficient insulin to process glucose into fuel, so the body breaks down fats to use for energy. When the body breaks down fat, ketones are produced as by-products. Some ketonesrehydrated, and adequate insulin action is restored, ketones remain in the blood. Ketones in the blood cause nausea, headache, fatigue, or vomiting.
            Ketoacidosis is life-threatening and demands immediate treatment.
            Symptoms include:



            • Shortness of breath








            • Nausea and vomiting








            • Dry mouth








            • Breath that smells fruity








            • Stomach pain








            • Yea. That high number isn't JUST a number. Its not just give him some insulin and that's that. If only it was that simple. The complexities, variables and other components of this disease are mind boggling, and heart breaking.

              While we must bite our lip, swallow those tears and administer insulin or sugar as if its "normal" and worry about the above things that can happen right NOW, we must also think of their futures..

              The long term effects of low blood sugars haven't been documented yet but its said that nerves in the brain are damaged and brain cells die with each low. That statement alone is scary enough without further assessment. But its the right now of a low that keeps us up at night. The scariest of all being Dead In Bed Syndrome.

              And high blood sugars.

              Shit. That's all we hear. About amputations, blindness, and transplants. But did you ever wonder why? or how? Well they hammer into our heads LOWER A1C, high blood sugar= complications such as:





              • Cardiovascular disease








              • Nerve damage (neuropathy)








              • Kidney damage (nephropathy) or kidney failure








              • Damage to the blood vessels of the retina (diabetic retinopathy), potentially leading to blindness








              • Clouding of the normally clear lens of your eye (cataract)








              • Feet problems caused by damaged nerves or poor blood flow that can lead to serious infections








              • Bone and joint problems, such as osteoporosis








              • Skin problems, including bacterial infections, fungal infections and nonhealing wounds








              • Teeth and gum infections




              • So while making sure our children do not drop dangerously low, to ensure they are here to see another tomorrow, we must also keep them from going to high, and securing their future..NOW.

                What they don't tell you is that these numbers aren't predictable. Not just food, exercise or insulin can cause a low or high. But stress, excitement, sickness, hormones, every single thing that you and I consider part of being a kid, or just human, can cause a chain reaction in blood sugars such as the ones I shared with you here.

                Seems like alot to take in don't it? When I saw that 39 and 350 tonight, that's what I saw. All of the above.

                This isn't just a single moment, but each moment. Each check, each reading, this is what we see. Everytime I look into those gorgeous eyes, or feel his hug, or hold his hand during another battling low or raging high....



                You see a number, for us its so much more.


                THIS  IS TYPE 1:



                Where do I begin? I really want to write a powerful post. One that explains everything my heart is feeling.One that compares slightly to the likes of Hallie, Heather, Reyna, Laura, Meri and Renata. One that not only gives you real understanding of what the last 6 days in my house have been like but one that explains that this IS our life.
                This isnt just a fluke or a bad day.

                This IS TYPE 1 DIABETES.

                Just because Justice is running insane numbers some very low some very high,some with ketones, some dropping without a bolus, doesnt mean I am not doing everything I can or should. or that hes doing something wrong. or that hes got the bad kind.

                THIS IS TYPE 1 DIABETES.


                This is all of us Dmoms and D dads realities. This is all PWDs (Person with Diabetes)reality. I am tired of having to explain over and over again why he cant go to school. why he has to wait to eat or have candy at 7 in the morning. Or peoples reactions to hearing about the rollercoaster we are on. It is NOT our fault. You want to place blame? Hunt down the "germ" that turned their immune systemS against the beta cells which
                left it insulinless`(my own word).

                THIS IS TYPE 1 DIABETES.

                I am tired. I am scared. My heart hurts. My eyes are puffy. My husband for once doesnt know what to say. Justice is upset. He has missed a whole week of school. He hasnt been able to play when he wants or eat breakfast in the morning right away.He feels dizzy, and nauseated. His head is aching and he says all these highs and lows are making him feel like a body made of skin and no bones.He sits and rocks in a corner
                LookinG into the distance not aware of whats going on when hes low. He acts like he is having roid rage and will kill anyone that crosses his path when he is high.

                THIS IS TYPE 1 DIABETES.

                You see his pancreas; a major organ is NOT working. Not because of anything he ate, or we fed him. Not because hes overweight. But because to put it bluntly his immune system failed him. Do I really need to say more?
                Do we as a community really need to endure more looks, ignorance and foolish remarks?

                A friend George (Ninjabetic.com) said once (adlibbing here)..."Imagine your heart wasnt working. You had to take over the functions of it". IMAGINE THAT. Imagine your childs heart didnt beat correctly,
                didnt pump blood correctly. You had to use medical devices to achieve this. But these devices dont work on their own. YOU must work them. You must tweak and adjust them all the time.Nothing stays the same. And one wrong move you could kill your child.

                THIS IS TYPE 1 DIABETES.

                No no I am not exaggerating. That in a simple nutshell is our lives. Everyday. No breaks. Not for birthdays. Or Christmas. Or New Years. Not for anything. Everyday we must try to balance blood sugars from being too low which could cause a siezure, coma or death right now, with sugars being too high and causing complications later in life such as organ damage,neuropathy, blindness, and again early death. All with machines and medicines that are not by any means perfect. They only work as well as we work them. And there is sadly no exact science.Its not take X amount of insulin a day. Its Ok sugar is 148. Justice is having chicken, rice, broccoli,and yogurt. I must weigh EVERYTHING he eats to calculate the amount of carbohydates in the meal. Wait not done. Then I must calculate per his "dosing calculation" (IC) how much insulin he needs for every X amount of carboydrates. You still with me? Also factoring in if he will be playing, laying down watching tv, or if he is sick. This must be done EVERYTIME he wants to eat or drink something.Yup. When Im tired. When Im sick. When Im paying bills. or cleaning the house. EVERYTIME. Somedays it works and others it doesnt. Some days things are so upside down I swear Im living in an alternate universe.



                THIS IS TYPE 1 DIABETES.

                We are not asking for your pity. We are asking for your support. Your unwavering and non judging support.we are asking for you to listen. Dont tell us about your friend who has type 2 and started taking pills and is better.or about Hallie Berry reversing her type 1 (thats all bullshit). We know best. We understand this disease better than the media. Better than oprah, Dr Oz and Ricki Lake! Yes I know we dont have talk shows but trust me we could teach this world a thing or ten.

                We dont mind your questions. We love it. We encourage it. We are glad you care enough to want to know more. But understand that we are drained. We are tired. We are hurting. Our children are fragile. Yes they are strong but they are still kids. They are still 2, 4, 8 and 16. You know how upset you get when your kid has a bad cold that wont go away right? Well imagine that time 5000000. You want with every fiber of your being to make things better. But you cant.

                Please dont say it will be ok. Hes a strong kid. Youre a strong mom. STOP. It adds fuel to the fire that is already burning deep inside of me. We are strong. We have to be. We have no other choice.

                THIS IS TYPE 1 DiABETES.

                I guess I could have just said EVERYDAY I FEAR LOSING MY CHILD TO A LOW.EVERYDAY I FEAR HE WILL COLLAPSE IN SCHOOL IN THE BATHROOM AND NO ONE WILL BE AROUND TO SEE HIM HAVING A SIEZURE.EVERYDAY I FEAR HE WONT
                WAKE UP IN THE MORNING EVEN THOUGH I JUST CHECKED HIM 2 HOURS BEFORE. EVERYDAY I FEAR THESE HIGHS WILL CATCH UP WITH HIM AND TAKE AWAY HIS LEGS OR HIS EYESIGHT. EVERYDAY. EVERY MINUTE. I FEAR MEDICAID WILL BE
                TAKEN AWAY AND I WONT HAVE THE MEANS TO KEEP HIM ALIVE.

                You know that old saying its a matter of life and death? Well for us,it really is.

                THIS IS TYPE 1 DIABETES.




                Celebrate With Us!